Here’s How I Made Real Friends In A New Environment

Little life secrets that actually matter

Image by Joel Muniz from Unsplash

Friendships are a crucial aspect of life, yet many of us struggle to discover, make, or retain them. Life changes such as moving to a new neighbourhood, beginning a new career, or having a kid can separate us from our prior support network, making it more vital than ever to create new connections. In other circumstances, shyness or a lack of social skills might keep us from taking the initial step toward building a connection. This article provides practical tips to help you increase your social circle or strengthen existing ties where I tell you some of my personal experiences in this process.

Priming Yourself For Friendship

• Attitudes toward others — We might turn away prospective friends by insisting that they share our attitudes, views, or behaviours. If you recognise that other people have the right to be different from you, you open yourself up to the prospect of having connections that provide you with a new perspective on life.
• Treatment of others — consider how you would like to be treated, and then extend the same to the people in your life.
• Don’t anticipate fast gratification — Because good friends aren’t built in a day, don't expect things to happen fast. Sharing your darkest secrets in one night is unlikely to result in a close connection. It can even push the other person away. Take it carefully at first. Share ‘safe’ information initially, and give the relationship time to settle before revealing the meatier concerns in your life.
• Avoid the desire to criticise others — Persistently harp on others flaws and failings might make your audience suspicious of you. How do they know you’re not pointing out their weaknesses to your other friends?
• Don’t gossip — Potential pals will not trust you if you frequently tell them about the troubles and tragedies of others in your life.
• Don’t compromise yourself — Each of us has moral and behavioural standards. Allow oneself to be compromised for the purpose of ‘fitting in’ with a group.

Places To Meet Friends

• Many people meet their buddies at work. Participate in social events such as Friday night cocktails or lunches to commemorate staff birthdays to broaden your horizons.
• Follow your passions. Join a neighbourhood walking group, for example, if you enjoy walking.
• If you don’t work and don’t have any hobbies, think about joining a volunteer organisation with a cause that interests you.
• Meet new people by utilising your existing network of family and friends.
• Say yes to party invitations.

When Making Friends Gets Tough: Try This

Sometimes making friends gets tough. Perhaps you are shy, or you feel you lack the social skills to start a conversation.

• Join groups that share your common interests. Talking about one of your interests, such as gardening or writing short stories, might help you gain confidence in talking about other topics with possible new acquaintances.
• Observe and learn from those who are outgoing and readily make new acquaintances.
• Make an effort to look people in the eyes when you speak to them.
• Instead of focusing on your own self-consciousness, pay attention to what others are saying.
• Approach anyone else in the room who appears to be socially uncomfortable and strike up a discussion with them.
• When you meet someone new, ask them questions about themselves or what they enjoy doing, it’s a wonderful approach to start a conversation.
• Social skills may be acquired, so seek expert assistance if you believe you require it.
• Don’t forget to smile!

Keeping Friendships

• Appreciate your buddies and don’t take them for granted — Take the time to express your gratitude to your friends in whichever method works best for you, such as calling them home for dinner so you have an opportunity to spend time with them and have fun.
• Give your time and attention — friendships must be fostered. If you are regularly too busy to spend time with your pals, they will eventually leave you behind. Make friendship a top priority in your life. Listen actively to your friends and express your interest and passion in their life.
• People make errors, so be understanding — Sometimes a buddy will do something you don’t agree with. Consider your own situation: would you choose judgement or forgiveness from those who are supposed to love and care for you?
• Don’t take advantage of trust — For example, if a buddy reveals you a secret, keep it to yourself. You may believe that by spreading gossip, you are fostering relationships with people, but in reality, you are ensuring that others will not trust you enough to tell you anything. And if your buddy discovers that you exploited their trust, your friendship is ended.
• Control jealousy — You may expect your closest friend to be ‘loyal’ to you, which may cause jealousy if they have other intimate connections. Learn to embrace the fact that love for friends, like love for children, maybe unlimited.

Always Remember These Important Things

• Life changes such as moving to a new neighbourhood, beginning a new career, or having a kid can separate us from our prior support network, making it more vital than ever to create new connections.
• Participate in social gatherings at work, join a hobby organisation or volunteer for charity.
• Friendships require love, time, care, and trust to thrive.

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